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Leading the Blind

On February 18th, 2011, our lives were changed forever when our son Christian Taylor Buchanan entered the world. He was born with a bilateral cleft palate and lip and almost completely blind. This blog is the story of his life, the joys we share, the challenges we encounter, and the amazing and trying journey ahead of our family!

Sunshine after the Rain

Sunday, December 4, 2016

I have been a mother for almost 6 years now, and one thing motherhood has taught me is that raising kids is full of highs so high you think it can't get any better, and lows that make you feel like you're scrapping the bottom. And sometimes all those highs and lows can come at once.

One of the hardest things so far about raising Christian has been the fact that he is beginning to desire independence from me, but independence doesn't come so easy with a child who is blind. Don't get me wrong, that's part of it. If we raise kids well, then they won't need us one day, right? As hard as that is, it's just part of it. And as mothers, our hearts break and rejoice all at once as our children gain independence and come into their own. But with Christian it's different.

He is at the normal stage in his development where he desires independence. He asks to do things himself with his sweet little words, "Want Christian to do it." He lets go of my hand as we walk, hoping to make his destination on his own. He asks to do things that his lack of vision just won't allow him to do without assistance. He struggles to dress himself, feed himself, figure out a toy or device with only his hands, figure out other people without the use of seeing their body language or facial expressions. It's all a challenge.

His vision impairment simply does not allow for as much independence as Christian wants at this point. It's as if his mind knows what he should and could do, but his body won't let him. And I have to watch him fight against it every day.

How i wish i could allow him independence when he asks to do things on his own. But not everything is safe enough for that. How I wish he could let go of my hand and not concern himself with the dangers of falling, or sharp edges on tables, or steps that he can't see coming. The things a 5 year old shouldn't be concerned with. There is time to worry when he's older. This age should be a time of wonder, exploration, and adventure unhindered by fear or struggles.

How I wish I could point up at the sky and show him a star so that his little mind could grasp it. Explaining a star to a 4 year old who can't see it is not easy to do in a way that his young mind can understand. How I want to give him the world, but his world stops at the tip of his fingers, and there is only so much I can do to compensate for that, although I try desperately. But it's just impossible to place a star into his little hands.

Every day is a reason to rejoice. Every day Christian does something that surprises and amazes me. Every day he does something that doctors once said he'd never do. Every day he accomplishes something that at one time my dreams of him ever doing had been crushed. There are so many things to be thankful for and so many more happy moments than sad. There is so much laughter and joy in this little boy.

But I won't ignore the sad moments. I will listen to what they have to teach me and I will love my little boy with every ounce of me. I will give him the world as far as I am capable and I will teach him to understand the hard moments, too. I will teach him to learn from them and grow into the most amazing person he can be. I will teach him that the measure of a man isn't how many times they fall down, but how many times they get back up. I will teach him to always get back up.

I wish we didn't have to deal with these struggles. I wish Christian could see, so badly. The holiday season is especially hard, because Christian can't see so many beautiful things that come around at Christmas. Christian always makes the holidays so special because he loves Christmas so much, and his joy is just so contagious. He doesn't care that he can't see, but boy how my mama heart cares.

I wish Christian's life was as simple and easy as possible. But since I can't control that, I will control what I can, and that's how I respond to the hardship. I will make the best of what we have and I will celebrate the simple things and love as deeply as possible. Because I wouldn't trade Christian's sweet Eskimo kisses for anything in the world. He is worth every heart ache that raising him brings.

There's a saying that sometimes it takes the rain clouds for us to really appreciate the sunshine, and how true that is. How sweet our sunshine is, because we have seen the rain.

Launch Team Info for Through The Eyes of Hope

Saturday, November 12, 2016

Hey guys! My book, Through the Eyes of Hope, releases on January 10th and I am so excited! This book is our story of faith, struggle, doubt, and hope. I am honored to be able to continue to share our family’s story in this way. It is a dream come true to watch this all unfold!Launching this book is going ...

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Tuesday, October 25, 2016

It started out just like any of the other of the dozens of conversations I have had with young children about Christian. "Where are his eyes?" "Can he see?" "Why are his eyes so red?"Some people might cringe hearing their kids ask questions like these about my son, but it doesn't bother me. If they already knew the answer to ...

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Choosing Grace

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Christian & Chris UlmerMy family was honored with a special opportunity this past weekend. We got to meet Christopher Ulmer with Special Books by Special Kids and be interviewed by him! Christian did a great job being interviewed and Chris really captured Christian's joyful spirit and laughter! (You can watch that interview here.) The video got over a million views in ...

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Picking Playdough Out From Under My Fingernails /

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

We were getting dressed for a fancy, red carpet event. We had been invited to a benefit concert where Christian would go on stage, adorning bow tie and all, and play piano for the crowd. The show was a fancy ordeal, and it was important that we dress well and look put together. My friend was hosting the concert and ...

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Esther - A Woman of the Bible - And What God Intended to Teach Me

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Esther is a very popular book of the Bible among Christian women. That's probably mostly because most of the Bible figures are males, or at least most of the time spent in telling stories in the Bible tells of men; but the book of Esther is a story with a female heroine who saves the day.Esther was a Jewish orphan ...

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Blog

Leading the Blind

Sunshine after the Rain

Launch Team Info for Through The Eyes of Hope

Choosing Grace

Picking Playdough Out From Under My Fingernails /

Esther - A Woman of the Bible - And What God Intended to Teach Me

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